Preemie Mom

On August 28th I write a note in my phone Reminding me that I need a new depo shot In November. then I collect my things And leave the hospital. There is no bow on my door Announcing my daughters arrival There is no cooing baby in the cruelly empty bassinet My breasts ache from […]

a mother’s reward

The way your face lights up when your mobile comes on at 4:37 am The feeling of comfort I get as you run your small hands over my neck and chest Trying to find the perfect spot The coos you make as you rub your forehead Across mine, Back and forth meshing the hair of […]

role models

when i was younger i wanted more than anything to be carrie fisher or jennifer saunders or bette midler ended up as dawn french but that’s okay – at least i’m still laughing

I don’t know why it bothers me It shouldn’t bother me That’s what I tell people all the time But I can’t get it from my mind The chorus in my head fills in the blanks Why was it my fault it’s always been that way I thought I had put you to rest You […]

nevertheless she persisted

every time he would hit me push me down stairs kick me hold a gun to my head break my phone bite me on the back throw all the food away take my furniture sell my car, clothes, cds, shoes burn me cut me leave me in a ball on a gurney he would always […]

sibling rivalry

It’s always been a competition I don’t know why I’ve never seen us as the same person or even close to the same other than the random chance of being born related. the memory that keeps coming back to me over and over and invoking the panic of your presence no matter how much xanax […]

how to hide from ghosts

black salt hot foot powder chalk lines and hidden sigils in the flower gardens haint blue paint smudging rooms with sage wearing pendants dripping with essential oils smelling of burnt incense and chime candles chanting mantras hour after hour mirrors in the windows glass bottles by the doors sweeping the dirt outside all of these […]